Can England and Pakistan not play a Test series without the shit hitting the fan?

I can remember back in the day how Ian Botham managed to piss off the Pakistani cricket team by saying that the Lahore pitch looked so bad he wouldn't even take his mother-in-law there.

I remember Aqib Javed crapping all over an umpire who dropped his jersey, and the Javed Miandad (who was captain at the time) losing his rag faster than a Joburger driving in Cape Town when the umpire tried to sort the mess out. It turned into such a row that the ump was pulled from officiating the next Test.

A few seasons ago, Pakistan - then lead by Inzamam-ul-Haq - were accused of ball tampering. As a protest, they stayed inside the changeroom after the scheduled start of play of the evening session. It was declared that they forfeited the match.

There was also that scenario of Ian Botham and Allan Lamb coming nose-to-nose with Imran Khan in court in a libel suit.

And today it came out that Pakistan have been sccused of bowling no balls under instruction of the bookies?

Come on okes. Just stop playing each other. Or sort your crap out.

Has the ICC released a statement yet? I have heard from nearly everyone except them.

What I have always loved about Africa is our ability to adapt to a set of circumstances. Sometimes, people fill a gap just because it need to be filled.

Remember when stadium security went on strike during the World Cup? Well the police force stepped in superbly.

And in the same way, I'm uber-impressed with how the army's medical wing along with volunteers from the South African public - including Dr Aaron Motsoaledi, the Minister of Health - have stepped in to assist in the running of the hospitals.

Patients are now being tended to - something that wasn't occuring last week.

Thank you to all of you who have stepped in to replace the striking nurses. From the army to the people who got up off their couches and went to mop hospital floors, to private medical organisations who assisted where they could.

It's two very different sides to South Africa. Striking nurses leaving people to die, counteracted by the goodwill of the people volunteering to fill the space left by them.

I've always been a cynic when it came to relationships.

Until not that long ago, my automatic distrust of people, short temper, insecurities and unwillingness to compromise alluded to a conclusion that I just wasn't suited to relationships.

Well, a few months ago that changed and I know live with the person I am seeing. We met one night through a common friend, exchanged details in the morning, and it all kicked off from there. Now, a much longer way down the line, I see just how fulfilling and exciting a good relationship can be.

I am sure that some kinds of issues will arise when we live together, purely because not everyone lives the same way. Although me and Mr One Eye-to-be spend pretty much all our time together, we don't constantly do the same things, live on top of each other or get bleak when one of us wants to do something else. Our interests are similar so I don't feel like I have to compromise ever. We're also fine doing things alone.

I'm totally happy.

I'd be so jealous of me if I wasn't me.

And now I'm one o' them smug fuckers who tilts my head at single people and says "ag, you'll find someone". (That's a joke. It really used to fuck me off when people did that when I was single).

I have often whinged about the crass comments beneath articles on South Africa news and opinion sites. Aside from the usual stereotyping of race, trolling and usual moronic activities, the one that pisses me off the most looks like this:

Haibo...des ting is so stuped!! I scheem Juliaas desind des format! Eish eish.

You can see the original comment here: Quota robs team of victory.

It annoys me that these are published as they are quite evidently and blatantly racist. That comment was allegedly left by a reader called Sipho which is quite obviously a spoof name as the commenter is trying to rip off black people.

Evidently the use of Haibo and Eish eish are used to typify the alleged black person commenting and the accent formed by the spelling of the words is there for no other reason than to promote stupidity.

It is rather obvious that people who are not English speaking South Africans can spell in English and don't type like their accent.

Would our media organisations also publish comments that rip off an Afrikaner accent in the same way? If, underneath an article about Afriforum buggering up the organisation of a march, I typed a comment that said "I can laaik to fink I are a hero but I is not because I is going to cook the mielies" would it be published?

And is it adding to public discourse?

And is it relevant at all?

Or is it offensive to Afrikaners because I would be portraying them as stupid?

From my point of view it's offensive and relates solely to a mentality that people who talk in an accent are stupid. Typing that nonsense does nothing but try to support that message.

And it's a deeply racist and disgusting thing to do. No matter whose accent is mimicked while trying to make a point.

Can anyone tell me when ripping off an accent during an argument was done tastefully, or was necessary?

And do we STILL think that people who don't speak the way we do are automatically less intelligent?

There was a story on news24 this morning "Victim charged with killing hijacker" where an oke shot a hijacker with the hijacker's own gun while defending himself.

The opening to the article is "A hijacking victim shot and killed one of his three attackers, using their own gun, and was charged with murder, Gauteng police said on Wednesday."

I have already heard people whinging that this oke shouldn't be charged and criminals have too many rights and pinko liberals and yadda yadda yadda. Well chill the hell out.

If you kill ANYONE in South Africa, you are charged with murder. It doesn't mean you are guilty of murder. It means you killed someone. Nothing more, nothing less. It does not take into account the circumstances in which it happened or anything like that. It is just a pre-investigation charge.

It happens all the time. Do you remember when Rudie Visagie (a former Springbok) accidentally shot and killed his daughter when he thought her car was being stolen?

Well he was also charged with murder until the circumstances were taken into account.It was a total accident and the case was dismissed before it even reached trial.

Now, if this chap who shot a hijacker while defending himself is found guilty, then that's where the problem lies.

And THEN I will join the voices shouting that the law is stupid.